See this man? He calls himself Time Master. He masters time.
See us? We call ourselves Triskaidekaphobia. We do not master time. Time has mastered us.
Being mastered does not pass muster.
We survived Georgia’s 500-year floods, and haven’t been swallowed by kudzu—except, perhaps, metaphorically.
Kudzu, if you’re not up to date on your invasive flora, is groundcover that grows up to a foot a day. It grows over anything that doesn’t move: trees, roads, abandoned houses, power lines, and dead bodies. Along the highways and roads of the South, it’s common to see whole hillsides and ravines covered in the stuff, a vast, leafy alien desert surfaced by the slow-stalking weed.
Frankly, it can be a little unsettling.
Anyway—we have survived. More true tales from the Southern Expedition to come. In the meantime, you should peer into the office at work by following us on Twitter here.