Pontiff Portrait
The Absolutely True Story of the Holy Man Whose Capacity to Pontifficate Was Not Impared by His Lack of Usable Digits

You may think that you know the Eight-Fingered Pontiff, but recent studies have shown that only 13% of non-metriculated adult Americans can find the Eight-Fingered Pontiff on a map of the world. Even more alarming, a full 24.445% of those people didn't even know what a map was, and an astounding 98% of the projected study group hung up when we called.

Obviously, we are in a time of an Eight-Fingered crisis. Therefore, we present to you, at no charge, this astounding and rousing factual guide to the History of the Eight-Fingered Pontiff. Please follow the link below to begin learning more about this important figure in World history.

Yes, this is the link. Please click here.

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