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October 17, 2002

sedatives, sedatives

it’s raining this evening. significant only for this reason. that rain can be gauged. the rain gauge. an inch, .34 of an inch, .00005 of an inch of water fallen from above. gauge.

what i’m trying to figure out is how to gauge dissatisfaction. what method? i could make up my own gauge, but what would i fill it with so that the lines on the side have any meaning to anyone else but me? indeed, how to even delimit a method of demarcation that would mean anything to anyone but me? i wonder.

i can think of it in terms of a happiness index, of sorts. equations along the lines of: satisfaction with job + frequency of eating out * number of friends = x, but it doesn’t work out. it’s not a valid approach, as any one of those things is a variable unto itself. any one of those things may be considered an invalid unit of measurement at any point, depending upon the humors. yes, the humors.

it’s also faulty because every item of quality in a life that i can think of (to use as a method of measurement) is lacking. when observed scientifically, of course.

so perhaps i don’t need to make the gauge.

the gauge is the gouge left by the lack.


posted at 12:43 AM | find it forever




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