Never Be Surprised by Another Friday the 13th… Ever!
It's happened to us all: You leave home to start your day, but upon getting to work you realize it's friday the 13th! Where's your horseshoe? Your four-leaf clover? Your lucky chicken heart? They're all at home, and now you're stuck at work—for the entire day!
With today's active lifestyles, it's easy to forget to look at a calendar in order to take action to counterract vague superstitions rooted in medieval times, much less to plan ahead of time to prevent being caught unawares by that most unlucky of days—Friday the 13th. If only there was some way that technology could help with this problem, or that computers could finally do something worthwhile.
What if we were to tell you that technology could help you now… Today!
Use It In The Privacy of Your Own Home!!!
Powerful Internet Technologies Make it Possible
Triskaidekaphobia, America's foremost leader in ungovernable notions, is proud to present its new Be Wary, Beware! F. the 13th Calendar Service for your computer and mobile computing devices1.
- Select the calendar that you wish to subscribe to
- Click on that calendar's name
- Confirm your subscription
Just Set It Up and Hope To Not Have To Think About it Ever Again™
How it Works
The Triskaidekaphobia Be Wary, Beware! F. the 13th Calendar Service acts like an umbrella made out of magic spells, one that turns invisible when you leave the house, that you cannot put down or forget or lose, that follows you constantly, like government spy drones, as you go about your day, secure in the knowledge that YOU will KNOW when the next occurance of the 13th day of the month on a friday in the Gregorian calendar as computed by Aloysius Lilius and Christopher Clavius in accordance with the agreement approved by the Council of Trent in 1563, which began to be adopted in 1582 but has only been in use since 1752 in the British Empire, of which America was then part of, will be happening!
Pick Your Calendar
Reminder every Friday the 13th. Good until the end of 2013—which is one year after the world ends in 2012, so you should be all set.
Recommended if you're: mildly paranoid, inherently curious, a housewife, the type to enjoy a good laugh, a medical professional, morose by nature, keepin' it real.
Reminder every month on the 13th.
Recommended if you're: mid-level paranoid, the type to enjoy the idea of a monthly reminder, secretly aware that it happens to match "your time", the type to enjoy a good laugh that fewer people would understand were you to tell them about it, German.
Reminder every month on the 13th, plus on the 13th minute of every hour of every day of every month.
Recommended if you're: manager-level paranoid, battling carpal tunnel syndrome, losing a battle with OCD, reading this while drinking PBR, the type to enjoy wearing an evil eye amulet not as a joke but as a real precaution against its powers, an elderly person.
Same as All 13s edition, plus a reminder at 1:00 p.m.—aka "1300" in 24 hour notation.
Recommended if you're: the type who has a medical diagnosis named after you, exceptionally superstitious, in a black metal band, filled with uncontrollable urges, an ex-Marine, in possession of a roomfull of hoodoo, saint, and/or santeria candles.
The Triskaidekaphobia Be Wary, Beware! F. the 13th Calendar Service is powered by the totally bitchin' iCalendar file format standard. This is supported by any calendaring application worth its weight in lucky, lucky salt, such as iCal, Google, Sunbird, and newer versions of Outlook.
Hey About the British calendar switch in 1752-
Terms & Conditions
1 Does not apply to crappy mobile devices, or ones with user interfaces that feel like a bad joke when you try and use them.←
2 "Three" is a term relative to English-speaking and/or -understanding users of this site only. The descriptive term "three" may be different than the term used to describe an item greater than 2 but less than 4 in the approved official language(s) of your country. Please see your local government representative for more details. ←
3 "Easy", as a term, makes no specific claims as to your actual experience in using the Triskaidekaphobia Be Wary, Beware! F. the 13th Calendar Service. "Easy" is used subjectively, and depends as much on an individual's comfort level with computers, as it does on product terms, exclusions and limitations and the insurer's claims-paying ability and financial strength.←
* Some users may actually have to use more than three steps. If this is the case, Triskaidekaphobia is in no way responsible for your software's fiddly-bits user interface or woes associated therewith. We do hope the guide helps you, however. ←
† Probably. Please see previous notes, if you haven't already. ←